How To Be Superwoman When Living With Chronic Pain Without Flaring Up
This blog post is based on a podcast episode featuring Destiny Winters, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, who specializes in helping individuals navigate the complexities of living with chronic illness.
The Concept of Superwoman and Cognitive Dissonance
Destiny first dives into explaining the concept of being a 'superwoman' in the context of chronic pain. This term refers to the tendency of individuals, particularly women, to push beyond their limits to achieve their goals despite the pain they are dealing with. It is a common trait seen in those dealing with chronic illnesses, where the drive to lead a 'normal' life can often lead to overexertion and subsequent flare-ups.
A significant part of this discussion revolves around the concept of cognitive dissonance, a psychological theory which suggests that our brains are always trying to resolve conflicts between our beliefs and reality. For example, if we firmly believe that cleaning the house will lead to appreciation from others and this does not happen, our brain gets confused. This cognitive dissonance can lead to negative self-beliefs and feelings of inadequacy.
The Pitfalls of Being a Superwoman
Despite the admirable drive to push through pain and achieve personal goals, Destiny highlights several pitfalls associated with the superwoman mentality:
Overexertion: Pushing past your limits can lead to a 'crash', resulting in increased pain and fatigue that can last for hours, days, or even weeks. It's essential to be aware of this potential outcome before embarking on any task.
Expectations vs Reality: Often, we predict outcomes based on our actions. When these predictions do not match reality, it can lead to cognitive dissonance, affecting our self-esteem and mental health.
Defense Mechanisms: When our energy reserves are depleted, our defenses rise. This can result in increased irritability, frustration, and even depression. Understanding this can help manage expectations and interactions with others during low energy periods.
Strategies for Managing Chronic Pain
Destiny also offers several strategies for managing chronic pain while still achieving personal goals:
Acceptance: It's crucial to accept the limitations that come with chronic pain. Acknowledging that you can't do everything all at once can help reduce feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
Prioritization: Not all tasks are equally important. Prioritizing tasks based on their importance and the amount of energy they require can help manage energy levels more effectively.
Seeking Support: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Identifying areas that drain your energy and seeking support in those areas is a crucial part of managing chronic pain.
Focusing on Strengths: Concentrating on the things you're good at can boost your mood and energy levels, helping you tackle more challenging tasks more effectively.
In conclusion, being a 'superwoman' while dealing with chronic pain is about balance. It's about understanding and respecting your limitations, prioritizing tasks, seeking support when needed, and focusing on your strengths. Remember, it's okay to let the ball drop sometimes – it's not a sign of failure, but a sign of prioritizing your health and wellbeing.